Christine, USA, Age 21
Hi, I want to share with you a little bit of my experience in life and most of all with the only true living eternal God. I have been on this earth for 21 years so far, I’ve been saved for a year now by God’s grace, and its the most awesome exciting life to live, and to have a relationship with the Creator of the universe is amazing.
When I was growing up I learned a little bit about God in Catholic CCD School. I had respect for the church but I just didnt understand it and it seemed really strict and boring, Most of my life, all throughout preschool to high school I was acting up and rebelling trying to get attention. Whenever I was at home I felt empty alot of times because my mom and dad split up and I was living with an alcoholic stepdad who yelled all the time and hit me and my brother all the time for almost every little thing we did wrong, I never was really able to concentrate in school and do my work. I felt very lonely inside with very low self-esteem. We moved around alot, and I switched schools alot. A few times we were really poor and on welfare trying to get by.
At a very young age Satan grabbed my attention and I got involved in seeking after a deep understanding of the occult, ghosts, and witchcraft, and anything to do with the paranormal. I was only in elementary school and I knew way too much about that stuff. I remember being out on the playground with a group of other small children telling them stories about the occult. The teachers got involved lots of times and called my house complaining and asking my parents if they were Satan worshippers or something, but they weren’t.
I really don’t know how that interest started. I think it might have had something to do with watching lots and lots of graphic, scary movies since early childhood, and being left alone most of the time, because my mom had to work alot. After living in a rough part of the city for a while my mom and stepdad wanted to move to a nicer place so we moved somewhere nicer. I liked it where we moved.I made friends real fast, but I was still getting in trouble, about this time I was in the third grade.
During the last year of my stepfathers life he turned to God, stopped drinking, and made a big change. I was beginning to love him and then he died. We moved again because my mom was not going to be able to afford our home by herself. When we moved my mom met another man. He turned out to be an alcoholic too. He was very emotionally abusive. My mom was very unhappy, yet she felt like she had to stay with him due to her low-self esteem. She began to do tarot cards and astrology alot while I was getting interested in things like oujiaboards and occultic practices again.
I knew there was more than just what we see on a day to day basis physically, but I was looking to the Wrong Answers. I was angry and depressed and at school I acted out. I didn’t care about homework or learning, I hated it. To me it felt fake anyway, so I went to hang out and disturb class. I was hoping somehow maybe someone would see my pain or crying out for help but nope, the teachers hated me and just yelled and kicked me out of class, and my classmates just thought i was funny but inside I just felt like dying,
I had lots of suicidal thoughts, I tried to kill myself like two times, but I never could really do it. I was getting closer to just giving in to the lies, but somehow in the back of my mind I remembered God. I just didnt know how to find him.
I always said I didn’t want to drink after growing up with alcoholics and seeing the damage it does, but eventually about the age of 16 I got sucked into that world of lies by hanging out with people like me who were looking for answers in the wrong places. I got into drinking, smoking weed, and partying, but everytime I’d drink I got even more depressed and angry. On the outside people thought I was so happy, because I was always making people laugh, and being the comedian, but i never liked to talk about my problems. I kept it all bottled inside,
I went to psychiatrists and psychologists but they felt seemed fake and I knew they were not the answer to my problems. Their prescribing me a pill to cure everything was not the answer either. I was still empty yetsomehow there was hope inside me, I never talked about my problems with people. I didnt trust anyone. I felt like no one really cared anyway. I was the one people complained to and the one people went to, to get a good laugh,
I was hanging out with lots of people who liked to caused trouble, and lots of gay friends, Then at the ages of 18-20 I was going to gay clubs. I had been to other straight clubs before but after coming to the gay club a few times Satan began to pull me into his lies even further and I began to get even more confused, wondering if I was really a lesbian or bisexual. I was already confused before because of some bad sexual things that happened to me and then I didnt really want to trust men. Satan was telling me that I should be with a woman, There was alot of confusion in my mind.
I wanted to die even more and I was getting panic attacks. Fear was starting to overwhelm me at times. I had a big emptiness in my mind and heart that nothing seemed able to fill and many things in the world seemed wrong. I had so many questions and complaints about the situations of the world, and no one really seemed to have any of the right answers. I was lost, I was in darkness, and I wanted help.
I didnt really know how to get to Heaven. I felt like I was doomed for Hell even though I didnt want to go there. At times I remembered God but I didnt want to go to a boring Catholic church again and sit there with a bunch of old people. I wanted God, my own life, and to make my own decisions. Even though alot of things were depressing, Iwas also having fun-times too, being known as a wild crazy funny girl. I liked having a reputation even if it wasnt always good. I was making plans to become an actress. I was going to move to New York, go to acting school, and pursue a career in acting while running around the streets of NYC going to clubs, partying, meeting people, and being wild.
But God’s plans for me were WAY different than that. When I was 20, I had some awesome encounters with the Holy Spirit. One time I was in a yoga class, and I had an out of body demonic experience. It really scared me so much that my heart was racing. I got up out of the classroom, and ran outside in the parkinglot. I looked up at the sky and I said “JESUS, please help me” and then I walked to the other part of the parking lot and sat down. I was sitting on a cement wall with some plants in the middle. I looked to my side and in the dirt was a book of all different prayers to God.. This was only a moment after I called out to Jesus. Also when I prayed for guidance from God a few times, He directed me with his voice and he showed me dreams and visions. That led me to read the Bible for greater revelation and understanding and wisdom. There were some other really incredibly awesome supernatural experiences I had as I began to seek the Lord for his presence with my whole heart, but I’m not gonna get into that now it will take me a long time to explain those.
I want you to know that really it’s not that there is something so great and special about me that God showed me some great things. It’s only because he promised in his eternal word and I followed what his Word says (even though at the time I didn’t know i was following his word!)
If you want to have that personal relationship with God he said this to his prophet Jeremiah in the Holy Bible: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I WILL hearken unto you, And ye SHALL SEEK ME, and FIND [ME], when ye shall search for me with ALL YOUR HEART.” (verses 11-13)
How awesome is that! God isn’t hiding anywhere he isn’t in some far off place, He hears you loud and clear when you call on him with an open heart ready to recieve, but first you have to believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God because it’s only by his sinless blood that we are set free from the bondages of sin and evil.. ASK JESUS RIGHT NOW, TO COME INTO YOUR HEART, FORGIVE YOUR SINS, AND TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU, AND HE WILL!
GOD ALSO SAYS THIS….”Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” (Jeremiah 33:3)
God loved us so much that while we were still sinners in this corrupt world he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for us and take on our sins! That’s love who else would die for you, especially after we treated God so bad at times. He still wants to forgive us and welcome us with open arms into his everlasting kingdom. Don’t let Satan lie to you anymore, Jesus can set you FREE by his truth, by HIS BLOOD!!
I LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIST!! THANKS SO MUCH, I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IN HEAVEN.